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Today The Global Language Monitor announced the 1 millionth word to enter the English Language: Web 2.0.

This is obscene. To begin my argument, Web 2.0 is not a word; it is practically four. Read with me: Web-two-point-zero (or o, take your pick). They define it as “a technical term meaning the next generation of World Wide Web products and services” and rationalize their choice of it with “it has crossed from technical jargon into far wider circulation in the last six months.”

I call Bull Shit.

The other candidates for the prestigious honor (in descending order of their voting): Slumdog, noob, and jai ho. “Slumdog is an impolite term for children living in the slums,” “Jai Ho! Is a Hindi exclamation signifying victory or accomplishment,” and n00b is “a mixture of letters and numbers that is a derisive term for newcomer.”

I cannot understand how Web 2.0 beats n00b. In the battle of computer-geek jargon, n00b has got to be the trump card.  When I think computers, I think n00bs. Perhaps that is because, by definition, I am a n00b in the tech and gaming spheres. Who knows?

Another concept that floors me is the candidacy of Jai Ho! Since when did Hindi become the new English?

According to JJ Payack, president and chief word analyst of the Global Language Monitor, “English has become a universal means of communication; never before have so many people been able to communicate so easily with so many others.” Again, Bull Shit!

When I am ready to exclaim victory or accomplishment, Jai Ho! is not what I reach for. Again, perhaps this is because I am a n00b. I doubt it.

This Global Language Monitor claims that 14.7 new words are generated each day in the English Language. This means one every 98 minutes. In case you were wondering, word 1,000,001 was just released: Financial Tsunami.

English, according to this most-credible source, has almost double the words in any other language. Chinese has the second most with a shade over 500,000 and Japanese comes in a distant third with 232,000. Somehow I feel that they don’t have “rice-rocket” in their word-count though.

Below are some of my favorite latest entries to my language. Excuse me while I go pick up Spanish.

999,994: Slow Food — Food other than the fast-food variety hopefully produced locally (locavores).

999,993: Octomom – The media phenomenon relating to the travails of the mother of the octuplets.

999,992: Greenwashing – Re-branding an old, often inferior, product as environmentally friendly.

999,991: Sexting – Sending email (or text messages) with sexual content.

999,990: Shovel Ready – Projects are ready to begin immediately upon the release of federal stimulus funds.

999,989: Defriend – Social networking terminology for cutting the connection with a formal friend.

999,988: Chengguan – Urban management officers, a cross between mayors, sheriff, and city managers.

999,987: Recessionista – Fashion conscious who use the global economic restructuring to their financial benefit.

999,986: Zombie Banks – Banks that would be dead if not for government intervention and cash infusion.

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