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I feel the need to be blunt here. I hate celebrity gossip. It holds hands with reality television under the umbrella of successful ventures that I simply do not get.

And while I admit to enjoying the occasional episode of Tool Academy due to its sheer absurdity, seeing a video like the one below makes me sick to my stomach and leads me to question the intelligence of the human population as a whole.

This was the MOST hit video on YouTube for the last seven days. It attracted over 1 million viewers. Why? I am still not sure.

Cristiano Ronaldo, who made headlines earlier this week for his $130 million transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid, was “caught” on video camera visiting his most recent girlfriend Paris Hilton.

He was “caught.” Are you kidding me?

The fascination that TMZ’s camera crew has with Ronaldo and Hilton is something that I cannot come to grips with. There was no interaction with either figure. The crew merely watched from the bushes and made a token effort to speak to Ronaldo as he left; whether or not he responded was irrelevant. TMZ wanted nothing more than to observe the couple being together.

There is a term used to describe a person who partakes in this behavior: A Peeping Tom. It is generally an illegal activity, but in the instance of celeb-reality, I suppose we’ll allow it.

More baffling than TMZ’s behavior, which is purely consumer-driven, is the behavior of the 1.1 million viewers of the clip. Obviously I was one of them, but for no purpose other than to write this column. What did they expect to see? A little side boob?

America needs to drop the obsession with celebrities’ personal drama and must start to invest a little more interest in their own lives. If you want to see some porn, there are plenty of sites to use. If you want to see Paris Hilton porn, you’re only a short click away; I’m sure that Ronaldo has a tape out too. And lastly, if you’re looking for long-distance relationship advice, Paris Hilton is probably the last person you should be asking for help.

That’s all. Focker, out.

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